


Crawling in Ceiling Vents With a Fracture Isn’t Healthy Clint

by AngelCuttingOnions



Series: Deaf Ears [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Basically, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Crack Treated Seriously, Deaf Clint Barton, Definitely not canon compliant, Endgame doesn’t exist fuck you, Help, Human Disaster Clint Barton, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Multi, Okay I’m gonna stop adding tags, Polyamory, Sign Language, This is how I cope with Endgame, Y’all what is this, i don’t know how to tag, like at all, wait no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: Clint hated medical. More accurately, he didn’t trust medical. It was nearly impossible for anyone, including Coulson, to make him go to medical. He somehow managed to anyway.





	Crawling in Ceiling Vents With a Fracture Isn’t Healthy Clint

Clint hated medical. More accurately, he didn’t trust medical. It was nearly impossible for anyone, including Coulson, to make him go to medical. Even when he came back from a mission bruised and banged up, clearly trying to hide any major injuries. He stood in front of the coffee machine waiting for the pot to fill when Tony found him. 

The genius was worried about him. This was a man who bitched about every paper cut and stubbed toe. He only stayed quiet about his injuries when they were severe. “Clint-“ 

“Don’t talk to me, I don’t have coffee.” Tony sighed in frustration at the man. 

“Katniss you’re clearly injured, more than just a few bruises, you need to go to medical, and that’s coming from _me_.” Tony tried to reason with him, but it had fallen on deaf ears. Literally. Clint took out his hearing aids. 

The archer then proceeded to pull the pot of coffee from the machine, and started speed walking down the hallway, Tony trudging along behind him after he picked up the abandoned hearing aids, wondering if he should drag Coulson into this. When he rounded the corner Clint just turned, the man was nowhere in sight. Tony glared at the opening to the ceiling vent. “J? Get Agent for me would you?” 

“He’s on his way sir.” 

The elevator doors opened to reveal an exasperated but slightly amused Phil Coulson. “Did you lose him?” 

“He’s in the vents.” Tony pouted. “He took of his hearing aids while I was talking. Should we wait for him to come out?” 

“He has a mini fridge and a gameboy,” Coulson deadpanned. Tony raised eyebrows, impressed that he managed to rig the fridge up without anyone else knowing about it. 

“He has to pee eventually, right?” Coulson gave him a look, making Tony sigh. “I’m too old for this. JARVIS? Are we able to come from two different sides and cut off his escape routes?” 

It could have gone worse. 

Tony wiggled his way through the vents, wondering why he had to be the one taking the long way. All Phil had to do was reach in and pull once Tony cut the archer off when he inevitably tried to escape. He finally found traces of the man in his ventilation system, the now empty coffee pot, he did not want to know how the man drank it that fast, plus a few blankets all in a human shaped pile, along with his second favorite hoodie, and a worn sweater with S.H.I.E.L.D’s logo on it. The birdie had a nest. Well that was disgustingly endearing. 

Hoping he wouldn’t startle Clint too badly, he crawled towards the lump of blankets and clothes. He nudged the nest causing the archer to flinch, and open his eyes. “What the fuck Stark.” Clint spoke a little too loudly. 

Tony made sure Clint was looking at him when he started to sign and speak. “ _I got Agent. You’re going to medical. You’re bleeding in my vents and I don’t appreciate that._ ”

“ _You can sign?_ ” He scrunched up his nose, fuck that was cute. “ _I’m not bleeding, it’s only a sprained ankle._ ”

That was probably bullshit. “ _Ankle fracture? Got it. Time to go._ ” 

“ _Where?_ ” 

“Agent! Careful on his legs, he has a fractured ankle.” 

“Lovely.” Coulson had made his appearance. Clint looked between the two of them and groaned, dropping his head back. Phil proceeded to poke and prod at his ankles to see which one was injured. When he figured it out, he grabbed onto the opposite foot and tugged the struggling agent out of the vents, into the arms of one of Tony’s suits below. Coulson jumped down after him, Tony following quickly but struggling to get out of the vent. 

Phil then took the agent from the arms of the suit, and carried him bridal style down to medical, Tony walking right beside him after collapsing the armor. For some unknown reason, Clint had stopped struggling, curling slightly into Coulson’s chest as he walked. He was definitely pouting. Tony tapped him gently on the shin, making him look up at the genius. “ _Want your hearing aids?_ ” Clint shook his head slightly at the question. 

When they got into the elevator, Coulson adjusted his hold on the agent. Tony huffed a laugh at the absurdity of the situation. The only reason Clint was staying in the tower was because his apartment building had been demolished after the battle of New York. The damage from the alien invasion was too much to repair, Clint was temporarily homeless, Tony asked if he needed a place to stay, and with him came Coulson who was in fact not dead. (Something about eight seconds and Tahiti. Fury was being shady again.)

With Agent and Clint came a whole lot of weird shit. Such as the constant need to buy coffee, and the odd bits of Captain America memorabilia in random places like in the bathroom and in the fridge. Star spangled Tupperware was a thing. Clint’s hoodie stealing habits, and Coulson’s baking abilities. Coulson could bake. What the fuck. Plus both of the men seemed to care when Tony spent more than twelve hours in his workshop without eating or sleeping, eventually forcing him to come out and consume something other than coffee. 

The whole situation was just odd. Then of course there were the moments such as this, when Tony and Coulson would gang up on Clint for his general health and well-being, and that made Tony realize something. “ _You know it’s always you and Agent ganging up on me, or me and Agent ganging up on you. Does he have any bad habits we should work on?_ ” 

“ _He overworks himself because apparently no one but him and Fury are competent at Shield. Usually I distract him with a blowjob, but I’m sure he wouldn’t object to one from you._ ”

If Tony had been drinking something it would have been all over his elevator walls.

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all I literally only wrote this because I was reading something and it said “it had fallen on deaf ears” and I started wheezing because it was like one in the morning and I thought about Clint being deaf and what if he just took out his fuckin hearing aids and walked away and well here we are kids.


End file.
